How to get back on the (writing) horse if you’ve stopped

by | May 22, 2014 | coaching, tools, writing | 8 comments

You know how I was telling you that Himself had gotten all unstuck and was a writing dynamo?

(In case you’re not up to speed, read the start of his book writing saga in this first instalment.)

Where we left off last time, he was all unkinked and ready to write up a storm.

Well.

Turns out he wasn’t.

I’ve noticed a distinct lack of that tap-tap-tapping coming from his keyboard: the telltale sign of bookwriting is missing from our household aural landscape.

He doesn’t know I’ve noticed yet, but he will. He will.

(Cue wicked, plotting laughter)

I’m planning a bit of an intervention soon, and I thought you might like to know what it will be like, in case you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to work with a writing coach.

First up, I’ll start with the simple questions, and by ambushing him in the kitchen:

Me: So, (Casual look at fingernails) how’s the book coming along?

Him: (Silence) shuffling feet, a look at his watch and moves to urgently take out the rubbish.

Me: That good, huh? Want to talk to me about it?

Him: …. (Muttering)

Me: “What was that?”

Him: …. (More muttering)

Me: “It can’t be that bad; let’s just have a cup of tea and you can tell me about it and we’ll see what we can do. Ok?”

(He is British. A cup of tea is The Big Guns)

Then I’ll put the kettle on, lock the doors so he can’t get away, and lure him to the couch with a cuppa and a biscuit. (Cookie to the American friends in the audience). Then I’ll go on:

Me: So tell me; what’s wrong? Why no writing?

Him: GODS IT’S ALL AWFUL AND I JUST CAN’T DO IT AND I DON’T HAVE TIME AND IT WILL BE STUPID BUT I WANT MY BOOK SO BADLY!

Me: Oh. Is that all? We can sort that, no problems.

Him: Really? I don’t believe you. It’s awful and big and no-one out there can do this!

Me: Have you written anything lately?

Him: No.

Me: When was the last time you wrote anything at all?

Him: Can’t remember.

(He looks petulant, and his bottom lip is starting to poke out)

Me: Ah. that’s the trouble you see. You’ve fallen off the horse and are refusing to get back on. It’s been a while, and it’s become this big and dramatic thing in your mind.

H: Yes! It has. I see all these other books out there, they’re already written, and it’s just SO MANY WORDS to have to write down!

Me: It can feel that way. In fact it usually does. All people feel this way when they’re writing: all of them. Do you still want to write your book?

H: YES. I just can’t though.

Me: Ok. What we’re going to do is this: you’re going to tell me about where you’re up to in your plan, and then you’re going to go away and set up a timer for 25 minutes, and you’re going to write. You’ll write to the plan for 25 minutes, and do nothing else. No internet, no busywork, nothing but writing to your plan. Ok?

H: Ok… (With wide eyes) Do you think that will work?

(Note to readers: yes, he does ask questions like that. Mostly tongue in cheek, because he’s a smart and funny man.)

Me: Do you mean ‘do you think that will get me writing and if I do it enough I’ll have a book?’ Yes.

H: Oh. (Sniffs)

Me: Go forth, set timer and write. Write as though it’s the last time you’ll get to write.

Him: What if I don’t want to stop at the end?

Me: First up, get started. That’s the main problem here. Stopping is an interesting thing. I would usually say that stopping is optional. But for you I know that in the past you’ve just caned your brain over and over and over and expected it to perform without ceasing for days, weeks and months on end. So for you, dear, you need to stop when the timer says.

(Another note: as a self-confessed workaholic, he needs the boundary of stopping, so that when he goes to write again another day, his mind knows he won’t be pushing it to burnout. Your mileage may vary.)

H: Ok.

Me: So tell me where you’re at with your plan. What are you up to?

H: Well I sort of did the first bit, you know, the bit where I’m in the bush (Note for readers: the Australian bush, aka forest. Not the shrubbery) and having that experience I told you about. Then I went straight into that lecture material I used this year, and then –

Me: HOLD it right there.

H: …?

Me: You’re skipping about all over the place. I get that you’ve done a bit here and there, and none of it’s finished, but I think this might be what’s putting you off right now. How about you just choose one of those sections, revisit the plan so that you have your memory jogged as to what you wanted to include in that bit, and then just concentrate on that one bit for your writing time today?

H: Oh. So you don’t want to know where I’ve gotten up to in the plan?

Me: You’ve told me enough to know that you’ve skipped about, done lots of little pieces and I’m saying that that’s why you’re feeling scattered and like you’ve not gotten anywhere at all, but also can’t seem to get back into it. You just need a reset, that’s all. Pick a section, don’t think of any other section and write for 25 minutes.

H: Can I go and do it now?

Me: I wish you would. Yes. Yes, now. Go and do it now.

H: Whoopee! I’m going to go and write on my book!

Me: (Satisfied grin. And a sudden realisation that exactly the same applies. The new e-book won’t write itself!)

So there you have it. An untangling by conversation and a cuppa.

And that’s what it’s usually like on the phone or on Skype with me too. We talk book. You tell me what’s up. Usually it unravels itself through the conversation, because that’s what good conversations do. I give some feedback and some tools for you to use now.

And then you’re all unkinked and ready to write again. And you do!

That’s how come I have 3 clients finishing with me soon: their books are done, they’re putting the finishing touches on, and then it’s out into the world for them.

And that’s why I have a couple of writing coaching spots opening up.

Do you want to actually finish your book this year? (Rather than talking it up and not doing it)

Do you want to write something that grabs people, and changes them, deeply? (But you’re secretly scared your story won’t cut it)

I know you can write a book you’re proud of. One that makes a difference.

If you’d like to have a free 30 minute session on your book, then click here to book in a time with me.

Because if you’re wanting to get your book written this year, then you’ve still got time, but you need to begin now.

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8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. Elspeth

    It’s just interesting that something I do every day is a struggle for someone else. I guess it’s why I envy scientists and engineers. Advanced calculus, what? Ok, but then again I’ll be calling you for my biscuits and book help, too, Ma’am.

    • tamara

      I always find that too, Elspeth… that’s why I didn’t set up as a writer/writing coach until after I’d had a few jobs I didn’t like: I just thought it was easy for everyone. Happy to connect anytime you are! (I’d make you a cuppa but I think Skype don’t allow hot liquids to send) 🙂

  2. Laura Nelson

    Illuminating post. Spot on with the common struggles! And I like the tea bit (I’m British) 🙂

    • tamara

      Ah yes… tea: the little known mind control method! (and woe betide you if you refuse a cup…learned that to my cost) Glad to see you here, Laura.

  3. Sonia

    It’s funny how we can make things over complicated and your simple strategies to re-focus was motivating to read!

    • tamara

      So true! I find that often the noise of trying to get something done eclipses the actual doing of it.

  4. Jacqueline Gates

    Oh I could soooooo see myself in your husband’s shoes … although my blockbuster hasn’t evolved past the planning stage yet.
    Loved the conversation + the translations + the idea of working with you. We’ll be in touch, ma’am.

    Blissings
    the goddess (and future author) known as Jacqui

    • tamara

      Funny – most people can see themselves in my husband’s shoes. (Though he’s convinced he’s the only one having such troubles) And I’m raring to hear what your blockbuster is about… looking forward to connecting!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Accountability: not as official or boring as you’d think | Tamara Protassow - […] My intervention went pretty much as scripted, and if you missed that post, you can read back over it…
  2. Get focused to write better + slay your word count | Tamara Protassow - […] the Himself saga instalments, go here first, then […]
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