Writing advice online.
There’s a ton of it out there, and seeing as I’m not writing a book at present, I thought I’d spend some time looking at it. 
Talk about falling down the rabbit hole! I think I lost a week or two. (What year is this?)
But it was good. It was like taking an aerial survey of the terrain. Features of the landscape I was previously unaware of stuck out, and roads going to towns I didn’t know about appeared.
Most of it’s helpful: the dross is pretty easy to spot, and easier to jettison, because there’s so much more good advice out there than otherwise (surprisingly!).
And another thing I discovered: most of it says the same thing, albeit divided into two separate camps:
- The Go Hard or Go Home camp, and
- The Softly Softly camp.
I’m going to breifly go into each camp and unpack it a little, before giving you my take on the whole thing, and letting you get on with your day.
The Go Hard or Go Home Camp
Writers and their cheerleaders in the Go Hard camp are into results. They talk about ‘busting through blocks’, ‘smashing targets’ , ‘getting it done in 14-21-26-30 (or insert your favourite number here) days’ and ‘leveraging your platform.’
The Go Hard or Go Home-ers use techniques that feel like a smash-n-grab to get over procrastination. They advise just setting a deadline and sticking to it regardless. It’s a take no prisoners approach to getting a book done, and it works. For some people.
Then you have the others.
The Softly Softly Camp
This camp is full of introspective writers and their psychological helpers who take the ‘don’t scare the wildlife’ approach. Those in this camp like to see everything through the lens of their experience, with reference to their story and particular way of working with themselves. They call writing a book a ‘journey.’
They’ll think hard, and long, before starting a book and see it as a spiritual quest of sorts. They’re more likely to make a decision about their book on instinct rather than through market research.
They work with their own inner demons to get to the point where they feel comfortable calling themselves a writer, and setting themselves up to write. It’s a mostly instinctual, spiritual way of writing a book, and it also works. For some people.
My take on the whole enchilada
If you’ve been hanging out in a corner of the internet that only has one camp talking about writing, and it suits you, then that’s fine. You’re home! If you haven’t yet found the camp that you like, then keep looking, they’re out there. (Or right here. 🙂 )
If you don’t fall clearly into one or the other of these camps, then you’re not alone.
There are some days that I am completely Go Hard or Go Home. If you’re not writing, but you’re whining about how much you want to get your book done, I’m likely to tell you to sit your ass down on that chair and get some words out, and that sometimes it’s good to suck at writing, just to get words on the page.
On other days, I feel much more like writing is an elusive trout and we are the fly fishers, teasing and tempting and doing our best to look like harmless flies so that we don’t scare the word trout away. Days like this call for the thinking about the different sides of stuck or our reactions to resistance and what to do about them.
If you don’t fall clearly into one or the other of these camps, then welcome, writing traveler. You’re home.
The advice I give here falls into both camps. I think you have to have major commitment, drive and stickability to write a book. But if you don’t also have sensitivity and introspection, then you’re probably missing a key ingredient in your writing life.
People don’t want dry “sock it to ’em” books anymore. They want to connect with you and your story, and for that, you need a little softness.
So there you have it. Without further ado, the writing advice that doubles as a directive to toilet paper manufacturers:
To be good, be soft AND strong.
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I appreciate your insights here. I enjoy writing – and do some business writing for pay so I approach it that way. It’s a project with a deadline. Sometimes the “writing is a journey” group make me doubt myself – as in… I’m not all emotionally wrought over my writing… does that mean I’m doing it wrong? I’ll be back here for more answers 🙂
You little bad ass 😉 Thank you for this – it’s funny to see myself categorized because, for me, since it’s how I pay the bills, writing is never an option. Maybe I could use a little more softer introspection?
Hey Elspeth – I love your response! I think I was tongue firmly in cheek, because the difference I saw in the two groups that I didn’t put in there was that it was only the writers who got the job done in both groups who got paid (or any other result they were chasing)… And as I said to Phyllis, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!
I agree. Things don’t usually fall into one extreme or the other. There’s usually a place somewhere between the extremes that works best.
Hey Leanne! Yup. I know that the extremes are easy to fall for, because they’re so decisive. Thanks for stopping by!
This is brilliant! You should put this on your “start here” page (when you make one) because it is definitely great information for anyone who first stumbles on your site. I fall into both camps for sure – I love working with my inner demons and being spiritual about my writing but sometimes I just need a kick in the pants and to superglue my butt to the chair and my hands to the keyboard. Love it!
Glad it resonated, Laura! I’m a bit like you too – I love going deeper into writing and why we do it, and how the mechanisms work, but the essential truth under it all is truly to just sit and do it. And OK! I’ll put it on the Start Here page when it’s done! 😉
Thanks for this insightful article Tamara! “To be good, be soft AND strong: – love this. It’s interesting that in this world (full of paradox) that if you want to go far with one quality (eg, strong), you need to cultivate the softness in order to hold you and get there…
That’s beautiful, Yiye: I guess it’s all about balance. We just can’t be all one way all the time, it’ll even out eventually! Glad you enjoyed it.
LOVE the middle way. I’m also thinking of writing that damn book. Thank you!
Karina – You’re welcome! And I guess my middle way is more (hopefully) appropriate pendulum swings from one side to the other. It’s all too easy to get bogged down in introspection and never write… but without it I find that writing lacks depth.
Hi Tamara – great take on it all and a reminder to trust in myself and not feel I ‘should’ do one way or another! Always a trap 🙂
Oh Laura – my one absolute rule is that there are no ‘shoulds.’ And yes, trust yourself!
I fall into both camps. Mostly the softly, softly, but I have to be a little stern with myself at times. The thing is if I GO HARD I usually end up in bed sick. So, I have learned how to slow down and be patient with the process. Thanks for this post. It was wonderfully affirming. (And fun to read!)
Hey Nano – I guess this is why I get a bit impatient with the “Go Hard! Write a book in (x) days!” camp. Burnout is common in this approach, and recovery takes a while. Quite a few of my clients are recovering Go Hard-ers. I also agree with you on the need to be a little stern with the Softly Softly tendency: no book gets written if you’re just talking about it or navel gazing! Lovely to see you here, btw. 🙂